Thursday, April 30, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
The Significance of Dreams Part 2
So you've read my dream. Now let's interpret it. Although I do not consider myself a religious person, I am spiritual. I don't believe in a Christian Heaven or Hell, but I do believe that the existence of life extends beyond the physical.
I also feel that dreams have a more powerful meaning that a mere random stream of subconscious thoughts, and sometimes these dreams can speak to us in different ways.
Mimi and Papa were so very dear to me, and I miss them beyond words can express. After their passing, I've had maybe two dreams with either of them in it. These past dreams did not have both Mimi and Papa in them, just one or the other. The hospital dream I had was the first dream I've had since their passing that actually had both of them in it.
I've always thought that Mimi and Papa would want to be around, to check in and see how everyone is doing, and to be with us during important points in our lives. As a deceased person, I'd know that I would want to do the same with those members of my family still living.
I think this dream was a way of reassuring me that when their great-grandchild is born, they won't miss it. Even though they can't be with us physically, they can still be with us somehow.
It was very calming and reassuring to me. I told my mom that the strangest thing to me was that I had been thinking in the weeks before of how sad it was that my child will never know such amazing and wonderful people.
I also feel that dreams have a more powerful meaning that a mere random stream of subconscious thoughts, and sometimes these dreams can speak to us in different ways.
Mimi and Papa were so very dear to me, and I miss them beyond words can express. After their passing, I've had maybe two dreams with either of them in it. These past dreams did not have both Mimi and Papa in them, just one or the other. The hospital dream I had was the first dream I've had since their passing that actually had both of them in it.
I've always thought that Mimi and Papa would want to be around, to check in and see how everyone is doing, and to be with us during important points in our lives. As a deceased person, I'd know that I would want to do the same with those members of my family still living.
I think this dream was a way of reassuring me that when their great-grandchild is born, they won't miss it. Even though they can't be with us physically, they can still be with us somehow.
It was very calming and reassuring to me. I told my mom that the strangest thing to me was that I had been thinking in the weeks before of how sad it was that my child will never know such amazing and wonderful people.
The Significance of Dreams Part 1
So I've been told that with pregnancy comes extremely detailed, vivid, and crazy pregnancy dreams. And after reading my uncle's blog post on his dreams, and my mom's encouragement to blog about the dreams I've been having, I thought I'd give it a shot.
Since I am at my mom's doing laundry, I can actually have internet access longer than 2.5 seconds.
First of all, I'd like to give some sort of a background on my dreaming. When I was younger, like most kids, I had nightmares and dreams on a constant nightly basis. As I got older my dreams subsided, but then picked up in consistency around the age of 19 or 20. Most of my dreams in my early adult years have been those random crazy dreams, with only a few of those having any significant meaning behind them whatsoever.
So here is my dream. The dream started with me actually waking up from sleep in my bedroom in an immense amount of pain. I realized that I was having contractions and woke Mr. H to take me straight to the hospital. Of course in dream world, a split second later we were getting out of the car at Floyd Hospital to walk into the main entrance. As soon as the automatic doors slid open, we saw my grandfather (Papa) walk from our left, straight in front of us, to our right. Of course Papa has passed, and in my dream, Adam and I knew this. It's not like he was a living person, and we were living in a world were my grandparents had yet to pass on. We knew he wasn't alive, and Adam and I exchanged this look of shock and curiosity. Adam then says "What is he doing here?", to which I replied "I have no idea".
We weaved our way up to the third floor, Labor & Delivery, which is literally one hall away from the room that Papa passed away in. As soon as the elevator doors opened, we saw him walking down the hallway away from us. I told Adam to hold on, and I followed him. He walked directly into the hospital room that he spent his last weeks of life, and my grandmother (Mimi) was standing there. They didn't notice me, but I was watching. And Mimi grabbed her purse and said "Are you ready? Let's go."
I turned, met up with Adam, and we went to Labor & Delivery to be admitted. Moments later, I was in the hospital bed surrounded by Mom, Phil, Cole, Christy, and Adam. Outside of my room window, propped up ever so casually was Mimi and Papa. They were face to face with one another, laughing and chatting. I kept asking Adam "Why are they here? I don't understand". And in my dream, all I felt was constant anxiety and curiosity. I would equate it to the feeling of a falling dream. Waking up and feeling like you can't catch your breath, and the feeling of panic. So then Adam turns to me and says "Sweetie, they are here because you want them to be. It's a big day and you wanted them to be a part of it. So they are here."
Immediately I felt a sense of calm, peace, and relief. It was as if this anguish and grief in my heart was immediately lifted.
And then I woke up.
Since I am at my mom's doing laundry, I can actually have internet access longer than 2.5 seconds.
First of all, I'd like to give some sort of a background on my dreaming. When I was younger, like most kids, I had nightmares and dreams on a constant nightly basis. As I got older my dreams subsided, but then picked up in consistency around the age of 19 or 20. Most of my dreams in my early adult years have been those random crazy dreams, with only a few of those having any significant meaning behind them whatsoever.
So here is my dream. The dream started with me actually waking up from sleep in my bedroom in an immense amount of pain. I realized that I was having contractions and woke Mr. H to take me straight to the hospital. Of course in dream world, a split second later we were getting out of the car at Floyd Hospital to walk into the main entrance. As soon as the automatic doors slid open, we saw my grandfather (Papa) walk from our left, straight in front of us, to our right. Of course Papa has passed, and in my dream, Adam and I knew this. It's not like he was a living person, and we were living in a world were my grandparents had yet to pass on. We knew he wasn't alive, and Adam and I exchanged this look of shock and curiosity. Adam then says "What is he doing here?", to which I replied "I have no idea".
We weaved our way up to the third floor, Labor & Delivery, which is literally one hall away from the room that Papa passed away in. As soon as the elevator doors opened, we saw him walking down the hallway away from us. I told Adam to hold on, and I followed him. He walked directly into the hospital room that he spent his last weeks of life, and my grandmother (Mimi) was standing there. They didn't notice me, but I was watching. And Mimi grabbed her purse and said "Are you ready? Let's go."
I turned, met up with Adam, and we went to Labor & Delivery to be admitted. Moments later, I was in the hospital bed surrounded by Mom, Phil, Cole, Christy, and Adam. Outside of my room window, propped up ever so casually was Mimi and Papa. They were face to face with one another, laughing and chatting. I kept asking Adam "Why are they here? I don't understand". And in my dream, all I felt was constant anxiety and curiosity. I would equate it to the feeling of a falling dream. Waking up and feeling like you can't catch your breath, and the feeling of panic. So then Adam turns to me and says "Sweetie, they are here because you want them to be. It's a big day and you wanted them to be a part of it. So they are here."
Immediately I felt a sense of calm, peace, and relief. It was as if this anguish and grief in my heart was immediately lifted.
And then I woke up.
Quick Update
My internet service is on the fritz, and normally only lets me stay online for a total of 30 seconds or less. So I thought I'd give a quick update while it's actually letting me stay online.
Mr. H felt the little guy move for the first time last night (only one day after I was able to feel him). That was wonderful. He seemed pretty excited.
Our air conditioning is completely out too. Which completely sucks considering it is summer weather in April.
And only 11 more days until we head to the beach! I am soooo beyond ready for it. Since our vacations are normally filled with lots of booze and good times, its definitely going to be a different experience this time. Fun none the less. Which also means...time to find a maternity bathing suit. Gag!
That's it for now. Hopefully once we get this internet crap fixed I'll actually be able to update a little more.
Mr. H felt the little guy move for the first time last night (only one day after I was able to feel him). That was wonderful. He seemed pretty excited.
Our air conditioning is completely out too. Which completely sucks considering it is summer weather in April.
And only 11 more days until we head to the beach! I am soooo beyond ready for it. Since our vacations are normally filled with lots of booze and good times, its definitely going to be a different experience this time. Fun none the less. Which also means...time to find a maternity bathing suit. Gag!
That's it for now. Hopefully once we get this internet crap fixed I'll actually be able to update a little more.
Monday, April 27, 2009
The Outsiders
This weekend was great. Mr. H and I went to Lake Lanier with my mom and step-dad and spent Saturday and Sunday on the house boat. It was very relaxing, and I think we both enjoyed the time away from the house. It definitely put me in beach mode, and luckily we only have a little less than two weeks before we are chillaxing and relaxing.
On the way home yesterday, little man gave me the biggest kick yet. I was sitting in the car, and it nearly took my breath away. I've been able to feel a kick here (and when I mean feel, I mean from the outside of my belly), but not really anything substantial. As he's growing his kicks are still so infrequent, but yesterday topped them all. After the first initial kick, I put my hand where he had just beat me up. After about 30 seconds I was thinking "Oh well, that was it for today." And he surprised me and kicked me really hard again! And I was able to feel it perfectly. This proceeded for about ten or twelve more mighty baby kicks, and I was in bliss. Of course Mr. H got discouraged because he couldn't really take his hands off the wheel to feel a good kick. But I assured him that there would be many more baby kicks in the future, and he wouldn't miss those.
Well last night, I was laying in the bed, and I was really hoping he'd start kicking again so I could get Mr. H to feel. So I rolled over on my side and started poking and smushing around my belly, and sure enough, the little guy kicked away in protest of all the smushing. At this point however, Mr. H was pretty much snoring, so I didn't wake him. But it was exciting to see that we've already developed a new aspect of our relationship. That is, my son and I. The kind of relationship where I can actually interact with him, even if he's in there for now and I'm from the outside world. It's a truly wonderful feeling that I could never get tired of. Of course, I know it's much more wonderful to replace that with the little guy in my arms. But for now, I know that I have something that can hold me over until he is actually here with us.
On the way home yesterday, little man gave me the biggest kick yet. I was sitting in the car, and it nearly took my breath away. I've been able to feel a kick here (and when I mean feel, I mean from the outside of my belly), but not really anything substantial. As he's growing his kicks are still so infrequent, but yesterday topped them all. After the first initial kick, I put my hand where he had just beat me up. After about 30 seconds I was thinking "Oh well, that was it for today." And he surprised me and kicked me really hard again! And I was able to feel it perfectly. This proceeded for about ten or twelve more mighty baby kicks, and I was in bliss. Of course Mr. H got discouraged because he couldn't really take his hands off the wheel to feel a good kick. But I assured him that there would be many more baby kicks in the future, and he wouldn't miss those.
Well last night, I was laying in the bed, and I was really hoping he'd start kicking again so I could get Mr. H to feel. So I rolled over on my side and started poking and smushing around my belly, and sure enough, the little guy kicked away in protest of all the smushing. At this point however, Mr. H was pretty much snoring, so I didn't wake him. But it was exciting to see that we've already developed a new aspect of our relationship. That is, my son and I. The kind of relationship where I can actually interact with him, even if he's in there for now and I'm from the outside world. It's a truly wonderful feeling that I could never get tired of. Of course, I know it's much more wonderful to replace that with the little guy in my arms. But for now, I know that I have something that can hold me over until he is actually here with us.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Au Naturale or Pain Management?
This has been something I have definitely read into extensively and received lots of opinions about. Personally, I feel that the childbirth experience should reflect solely on what that individual mother plans and expects her experience to be. It is a very personal occasion in which the mother can choose exactly under what circumstances/in what environment they choose. Of course most women opt for the pain free labors and deliveries with good reason. Most women argue that there is pain relief there for a reason, so why not take it?
With that being said, I have opted for the natural method of childbirth. No epidural. This, of course, is if I do not need a c-section. But it's my plan. For me personally, I think that the experience would be more gratifying if I were not on pain medication.
Mr. H and I have discussed different aspects of the birthing process, and what our wants and dislikes are. We've both made it a point that we do not want a barrage of people coming into the birthing room 15 minutes after the birth of our child, and passing him around for an hour or so before he is taken off for tests for 3 hours. I find this to be extremely impersonal. I know our families will be extremely excited about our little guy's arrival, but considering that Mr. H and I made this baby ourselves, and I will have carried him for 10 months, I think that the time immediately after delivery should be reserved solely for Mom, Dad, and Baby only. And if people think that we're being selfish because we don't want to pass around our baby (that we've been anxiously waiting to meet), then they can think that. The baby isn't gonna get up and walk out of the hospital. Four hours later he will be back in the room ready for visitors.
So far, those are definitely the two things I am set on when it comes to my birth plan. I think a lot of women don't take into considering that they can have their labor/delivery experience go exactly the way they want it to. Especially when it comes to hospital births. It's like women through their hands up and think that the hospital dictates every aspect of what is going on.
I am hoping that what I end up wanting in a few months will end up going as planned. I obviously realize that things could go the exact opposite in any given situation. So we'll see how that goes when the time comes. But for right now, I'm definitely thinking about what I want, which is a good first step.
Friday, April 24, 2009
21 Weeks and The Weekend
Baby gulps down several ounces of amniotic fluid every day, both for hydration and nutrition and to practice swallowing and digesting. And, these days, those taste buds actually work! Studies show that after birth, babies are most interested in tastes they've already experienced through amniotic fluid. Meaning, think about what you want your future child to eat as you prepare your own lunch.
So I am 21 weeks! Over halfway there now! What an exciting and anxiety-ridden ride. Only 19 weeks to go! Of course, that's depending on when little man actually wants to make his debut.
The weekend is here and I am so glad that it is. The weather is wonderful, and I plan on laying out today and working on some sort of base tan before we go to the beach. Only two more weeks!
I'm hoping to have my baby shower sometime in June, so we've been chatting about plans for it. I think I just want to have it as soon as possible so I can see what remaining items we'll need to purchase. I never realized how many things babies require. I'm ready to get some nursery progress going again. I am hoping to get some things together for a yard sale and make some extra cash to put towards the little guys things. We still need a changing table, dresser, night stand, and the glider/ottoman. In all, I know we have plenty of time to get those things, but I am just ready for the room to be done and ready for the little guy to use.
Everyone have a good weekend! Enjoy this weather, since we never know from one day to the next how it's going to be here.
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